Teaching Emotion
by misericordia98
Summary: As composed as he might've appeared from aside, that particular thought pulled him down like an invisible anchor, and his only wish was to stop feeling that way. /One-shot/


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

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 **\- Teaching Emotion –**

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 _A/N: InoSai is a pretty interesting ship, they had fewer interactions than Sasuke and Sakura and somehow ended up married. So, I've seen a lot of people commenting of how awkward must've been the relationship between them in the beginning and how we don't see any of the interactions between them that led to love and marriage… and I felt like writing a piece of what I imagined as 'awkward', and then it all turned into smuff again. I'm hopeless. Even so, there are so little fanfics about those two and they have the potential to be so nice!_

 _I also felt like I need to write from Sai's perspective, he's quite the misunderstood character. *whisper* Like Sasuke. *whispers more* And Sakura. And Shino. And a lot of Naruto's characters lol._

 _Hope you like it._

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"Stop staring at me." Ino snapped fiercely, taking a sip from her wine across him. "I'm sure I'm more of an eyesore since you noticed that salesgirl in the shop. Didn't know you're into redheads."

Her apartment has been his home for the last few months after the war ended… they dated a few times, then decided to move on, live together, share things and learn things.

She… was mad at him. Out-of-her-skin mad. He could register at least that. Understanding that, however, was beyond him.

"You," Ino paused, grinding her teeth with pure anger, "are ignorant of _so_ many things. You have no idea! And I keep on swallowing insults and putting up with your insensible, instinct-driven existence. For your sake. I sacrifice my pride for you minutely because I think everyone deserves a second chance."

"You said you'd teach me-"

"Stop using that in an argument, Sai, it's subversive and it's making me wanna slap you. You know what?" She stepped to him, voice lowering. "I'm tired. You are beyond teaching. There's no hope for you!"

With these words, she walked away from the kitchen (murmuring things that sounded a lot like _It's my damn fault_ and _Always falling for emotional invalids_ under her breath) and left him hanging with a strange, dull and somewhat painful aching in his chest.

It's been almost a week since that accident in the shop - he got distracted by the deep auburn color of the girl's hair, he thought he'd never seen such rich color before and he wished to capture it, but then Ino fell into a hysterical fit of anger, and yelled at him, and forced him to wash the dishes every time they ate at her apartment… and she also forbid him to touch her. At all times.

Which was practically the worst because he had a poor control over his ever pressing desires and she, seemingly, wore less and less clothes with every passing day. It was driving him insane.

He shifted to the sink and obediently began washing the dishes for the twentieth time this week as he heard the door to the bathroom bashing shut. She was under the shower. He tried hard to not recall certain images of them both under that shower. Something curious had occurred then, during the first days they started living together. A refraction of his mute soul. As if Ino had caused a mental turbulence so strong that he had remembered things.

He had remembered fragments of things people have tried to eradicate in him since he was very little. The right to feel, to be appreciated by someone without having to worry that the appreciation existed only to serve as a mean to justify that person's whims or orders after that. For the first time, he felt like it was safe to exist without the fear that he will be used.

Ino.

She was like a box of mysteries that he really, _really_ didn't want to open. The wrapper was just enough for him. Yet… she was so unnaturally kind to him, without a particular reason. Normal people would've been suspicious. Normal people were very clear on the fact that he was not a part of them.

His thoughts were severed by another bash of the bathroom door and the sound of matter sliding against skin. He stopped the water, to hear more of it. It was the best he was getting lately. The more time he spent with her, the more he realized that he had stumbled across a rare beauty. At least after scanning most girls in the village.

He was downright disgusted by her just a few years ago. Ino was noisy and selfish, and a know-it-all; everything about her was just… there was nothing to like. Or so he thought at first. Then she came and wrested him out of that genjutsu, and touched him with those soft fingers. He had never been welcome or missed until then, that's why her words transfixed him deeply. That's when she became important, she had more worth to him than anyone he knew. Friends were a good thing, but none of them had her patience or her brightness.

Sai turned sideways, to try and peek into the bedroom, but she was already dressed up - in her skin-tight leggings and a big shirt she usually wore at home - and approached the kitchen again, her light eyes flaring menacingly. Her hair was still wet and drawn backwards, to reveal the perfect symmetry of her features. He had tried to preserve them numerous times and he failed every time. His ink was nothing like her. His ink was dark and she was always… blooming.

She stopped in front of him, her hip leaning on the counter and her hands folding.

"Why did you look at that girl like that, Sai? Was she better than me? Prettier?" Ino inquired, her voice now even and calm, as if she was interrogating a person with a mental illness. "You like pretty things, don't you?"

"I do." Sai finally found an easy question in her list and hurried to answer before she asks another.

"Thought so. You can leave my apartment then. Since you've found your ideal."

"I don't understand," Sai replied flatly. "Why are you angry? You are pretty too." Then he reached for her waist eagerly, but she shifted away at lightning speed and with a low, hissing _Don't you dare!_

"You don't understand?" She almost tripped on one of the chairs, continuing to vehemently glare at him. "How many times do I have to explain to you that your scrutiny over other girls makes me feel bad? It makes me feel like you don't care about me at all. Do you want me only for an accessory or something?!"

"I want to be inside you." He announced, enjoying the strong flush that colored all of Ino's face (and even a bit of her neck) as her mouth dropped open in astonishment. A half-vowel fell off her lips, but she was too shocked to form any word.

"You can't just say stuff like- _oh gods_." Ino cut herself off, hand covering her eyes. "Sai, in case you still haven't noticed, I am mad at you! For a couple of days now."

"I noticed."

"Good!" Ino slid down her hand and glared at him. "You have anything else to tell me, except that poor excuse of a dirty talk?"

"I don't know what I am supposed to say," Sai admitted, with a furrow.

Ino gave him a blank look. He couldn't understand why she was mad in the first place, but something had triggered her anger and he had hurt her somehow. Maybe if he tried to explain things through his eyes they could reach an arrangement of some kind. Maybe she'd let him subdue the fire that ran through his veins since the moment she decided it's vengeful enough of her to walk around in short skirts and tops without bras, and loose hair… and underwear free t-shirts during the night. Those were some long nights.

He wasn't quite aware of emotional states, but she could be hundred percent sure that he knew what insanity felt like now. The chaos of his mind whirled along with the burning desire to touch her, to taste her and her rejections and reminders were like sharp glass cutting through him mercilessly. It made him think of her and her only. He couldn't even draw, he couldn't _draw_ , and drawing was as good as breathing for him.

The need he experienced fused with many things he couldn't explain to himself, but for one… he had grown addicted to the way she focused on him only during those encounters. She underlined his importance and it made him somewhat uplifted and… happy? That's what they called it, right?

"Why did you stare at the salesgirl like that?" Ino asked, grimly.

"I liked the color of her hair."

Ino's lips formed an oval of surprise, "You did?", then ireful tears welled up in the corners of her rich turquoise eyes. And those golden eyelashes… he tilted his head a bit. That glimmer, he could never capture that glimmer, the living spark of her fierce gaze.

She was an elemental force, a storm of nuances and his palette never seemed to be enough to give her justice. Because all others of the female species have picked one side and Ino was just everything at once. She was a warrior when she had to, but she could be a fairy too. Sometimes brutal, sometimes ethereal. Sometimes harsh and sometimes tender. He had not hesitated to make a decision before, but this one seriously took a lot of his time.

"I think I should leave. You want someone who will understand you, I don't understand you." Sai took a sharp breath, a cold shiver running down his spine at the realization. "I see that I only cause you trouble." Then he paused, thinking of something he had probably forgotten to mention, as a compulsory civility. "Thank you for your hospitality." Wrong word. He had to find a better word. He swallowed down something, he wasn't sure what, but it didn't make him feel good. "For your kindness. Goodbye."

Surely that was good enough. He's heard people part like that, it was authentic. Ino was looking at him in silence, features altered by worry now, but even if she had something to say he turned around and headed for the door, leaving the apartment. Ten feet down the desolate street, under the streetlamp, he nailed in place and stared at a point in the air in front of him… and the minutes extended.

It was a starless, autumn night. It felt like it was going to rain for days now, but Konoha's autumns have always been mild. Heavy clouds usually hung over the village for weeks, but it rarely rained. He didn't like rain clouds, they obscured colors and diluted outlines.

His mind was like the emptiness of a great, vast hall and the hollowness of this phenomenon has never bothered him until now. The hollowness of his existence, the lack of meaning in it, the constant misfitting he experienced and pretended to not care about. The feeling of being a fake… someone's replacement. Someone's excuse. He mostly liked when people hated him, it meant that they had noticed him. He had made an impact on their lives.

Maybe if there was something inside of him, he'd feel hurt… but there was nothing. He was quiet and empty, like those seashells that were cast on the beach. Useless and unneeded. Unless a wandering dreamer doesn't show up, to pick them up and collect them, like they were some kind of treasures. Like there was beauty in them and they were worth preserving.

He flinched when a cold hand touched him and proceeded to close around his, and then drag him backwards. Ino had sneaked behind him silently, claiming him once again. It happened sooner or later. It was a rocky relationship. She was moody and he was cynical.

Not until the front door shut behind his back and Ino's unrelenting eyes were on his with a tint of remorse in them did he decide it's a proper time to explain.

"There is a hole in my plan, I have nowhere to go."

"I know, Sai."

"I could try finding an apartment, but I need credentials to do that."

"Yes."

"I can't have credentials because I don't have a surname." He thought a little, trying to sum up his situation in the best way possible. "I don't exist outside your apartment and also it's cold, and I'll starve to death because I don't have money either." Sai paused again, giving her of his terrific smiles. "You are dumb enough to lend me money I can't pay back so I'm gonna stay here."

"I know you will." Ino's voice broke off into a whisper and she was trying her best to hold the emotion that gushed from her, pursing her lips, but the deep sadness in her was slowly prevailing. "Listen, Sai… I'm sorry, I'm just jealous, that's all. I sometimes feel like you don't-"

"You are the only one who understands me. I don't like anyone else." Sai cut her off vacantly and her eyes met his, astounded. Then heat rose to her cheeks and she looked away. The rosiness looked fabulous on her, he thought. She was like the deity of all flowers, bashful and unapproachable at the same time. "Can I touch you now?"

Ino chuckled breathily, stepping to him with a nod. Her hand slowly led him to the bedroom, where she switched on a soft reading light. He was about to strip her bare, hands reaching for her like they usually did, but she warded him off with a small smile on her lips. She signed at him to stop.

"I have an idea," Ino explained, looking at him straight in the eye. "I am gonna teach you emotion again. Pay attention." As she spoke, her fingers unbuttoned her shirt and proceeded to get off her tight leggings, leaving him strained with frustration. Paying attention wasn't the hard part in this situation and she surely knew it.

It was a white lingerie, gossamer lace. Without any elements, cut-offs or additional straps (he kind of missed those). It was a simple white, hugging the curves of her hips and breasts perfectly.

His brows furrowed as she approached him slowly and looked up to his eyes curiously.

"There are other ways for this to go, you know. Other than all we usually do." A small blush crept into her face when she dropped her gaze down for a moment of shameful revelation. "Don't get me wrong, I like everything we do, but I'm obliged to teach you the other side too. Since we're not animals." A quiet laughter came out of her. "This is gonna be tough. Ok."

She got even closer, her body leaning to his and hands resting on his shoulders. "I am to go on a mission with Shikamaru and Choji." Ino drawled, her voice becoming melancholic and a tad distant. "Imagine… it's a mission I am not coming back from. Can you imagine that for me?" She looked up to him with a small smile and it was like a hot iron through him.

As composed as he might've appeared from aside, that particular thought pulled him down like an invisible anchor, and his only wish was to stop feeling that way. But the idea was there, already planted in his heart. That same heart he considered a hollow most of the time.

"The mission is tomorrow, I told you about it earlier."

 _Not fair._

He averted his eyes from hers, unable to stand their power over him. She was unforgiving and calm, and… so heart-rendingly beautiful that he was lost. He was lost at all times, in fact. He was lost fundamentally.

"Sai?" Her voice reached him, her delicate hand turning his chin so that he could face her again. Then she bit her lower lip. "Your eyes are blurry." She stood on her tiptoes, pulling his clothes so that her lips could touch his.

"You're not coming back?" He asked, for clarification. "Ever?"

Ino shook her head a little, wrapping her hands around his neck and pressed herself to him, her nose touching his.

"Does that make you angry? Or upset? Or you don't care?" Her breath was frailer at the end because he slid his hands down to her waist and lifted her up, allowing her to wrap her legs around his. Backing away to have a good look at his face, she gave him an inquisitive look but then leaned in to speak against his lips. "Describe it to me. In your way."

He laid them on the bed and stilled, to look down at her - the way her hair spread like a splash of liquid gold on the canvas of the light blue sheets underneath her. His heart was beating tangibly within the cavity of his chest. The way she unconsciously licked her lips wrecked the small that was left of his patience and he stormed upon her a desperate kiss, body hovering over hers.

He didn't even realize he's been leaving them both without air before she pushed him back a bit. "Try slowing down… as much as you can. Can you do that?" Her eyes were softly steadied on his; she reached for the ends of his shirt, pulling it up and sending a shiver through him as her icy fingers came in touch with the pale mosaic of his core and oblique muscles.

Sai removed his shirt and leaned in to kiss her neck while his hand searched for the clutch of her bra and found it, but… he had a problem detaching it because he tried doing it with one hand only.

"Let me," Ino shook with laughter and heaved up a bit, to get rid of her bra with a few slow, well-practised motions that nailed his attention and almost nauseated him with desire. It was not until she stripped her lower part and laid completely bare in front of him when he suddenly backed away in awe.

The insight came to him like a bolt of lightning.

Ino reached for him, but he was struck by a muse and stopped her. "Don't move."

"Sai, not again." Ino's grimace was a mixture of concern, amusement and annoyance as she covered her chest, abashed and blushing hard. "You do that every time."

"No, I should really draw you _this_ time." He confuted evenly, but it was not enough. As he thought about it, he was nearing the phase of aching to be inside her, but then again the way she looked now was so unearthly captivating. Could be the hunger of his eyes, but he was pretty sure it was the way the soft light coruscated against her skin – the regular forms of her body he was suddenly so fascinated by.

Shadows danced over her gilded hair and underlined the lines of her collarbones, the mounds of her breasts, then the dip of her wasp waist and-

"Ok, you can draw me after that." Ino barely held the chuckle that threatened to ruin the mood she built till now with a lot of struggle. No further conversing followed, though, he was a goner when she leaned back on the sheets and parted her legs invitingly.

He didn't understand the point of moving slow, but he obliged her and agreed when Ino explained that people labeled that whole thing _romantic_ or something of the sort. In any case, her reactions to him were really different from all the other times. Maybe because the time extended enough for her to react to him at all and touch him in that specific way… since they rarely used that position.

It was oddly calming to have her hands resting on his shoulder blades without leaving any scars and her legs - one high up on his waist and the other weaved around his - open to his slow thrusts; the same ones that came like shock doses of concentrated pleasure he had missed so badly that he made a mental note to not anger her ever again in his life, whatever it may cost him. Her whole body just felt too good to miss it over a quarrel.

Their tongues swirled together wetly and they breathed in on occasion, when the air wasn't enough and the warmth became unbearable. Ino whimpered in his mouth weakly every time he pressed her and pulled away and then pressed her again, feeling her artful nails dig deeper into his skin, to keep him going.

It was the only time he enjoyed her being noisy, if he had to be honest, all that yelling was giving him a headache. He guessed it's fair since she said he, himself, was _one big headache_ for her. But… she always came back.

The kiss was broken when he targeted the weak spot under her ear and made her writhe, and moan underneath him. He knew her all too well to be sure that their slow pace wouldn't push her off the edge so he picked it up just a bit; refusing to acknowledge his fragile control until she didn't shiver violently with her climax and brought his.

Ino's soft moans in his ear were something he thoroughly enjoyed, but he actually liked her touch more. And he currently abused it most insolently because she had made him _feel_ again. The heaviness of pain. The torture of longing. The hopelessness of rupture. If he didn't die suffering her lack in his life after a single day, he'd surely starve to death. Since she did all the cooking.

"Black."

Ino stirred under him as if woken up from a dream, still trying to calm her breathing down.

"Huh?" She mumbled, trying to find his eyes, and… she did. The iridescent of her irises flickered warmly when he couldn't help but glance at her swollen lips, now apart.

"You told me to describe it in my way. How I would feel about you not coming back from your mission."

Ino gave him a half-smile, caressing his hair thoughtfully.

"I understand."

The pause extended as he peered into her eyes indifferently and she raised a brow. He used to make her feel uncomfortable, gazing upon her continuously like that, but she seemed to have grown used to it.

"I want to go with you."

Ino chuckled.

"You can't go with me. It's an Ino-Shika-Cho job." She shrugged slowly, giving him an apologetic smile.

"I'll come with you. It won't stop hurting."

Ino's lips parted in surprise, but then she came to her senses and slightly parted with him, to pull the sheets over them slowly as if giving herself time to think. Then she leaned back on the pillow next to him, still half-attached, and sighed.

"That's what emotions do, silly. You are starting to get the picture. What _I_ feel like all the time."

Sai looked at her for a while, then furrowed and turned his back on her, pulling the sheets over. He hated when she did that to him. Now everything they did felt like a sweet form of revenge she had carefully premeditated.

"Sai," She called him tenderly as her body hugged his and her hand slipped up to his chest. "I don't want to punish you, I just want you to always consider all points of view. This is something I still learn to do too. Living with you has helped me immensely."

He wished no further interactions with her today, though. So he said nothing and his furrow deepened, trying his very best to ignore the pleasant warmth her body provided.

"You're the cutest." Ino heaved up to whisper in his ear, strands of her hair tingling his skin and he turned to her sharply. He almost advised her to stop being so aggravating, but she chuckled heartily, stopping him in time. "I'll be back before you know it, Sai, don't worry." She leaned in to kiss his forehead. "I adore you."

She shifted over him with a complacent smile.

"What?" Ino prolonged the _a_ a tad, baffled at the minuscule twitch of his lips. "It's gonna be just a regular mission."

"I'll come with you, though."

And then came the glorious roll of her eyes.

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 _A/N: Thanks for reading! I figured it's time for some InoSai on my acc too, it was missing. I really fancied the idea of Ino teaching Sai emotions using colors since he understands them really well. Don't know if anyone else has done that before._


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